i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
