READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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