My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
too bad you live with your parents still
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
