i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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