oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
