This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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