There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
