Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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