Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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