I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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