This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
