It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
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