you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm always down for nudity.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
