Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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