You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
