Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize