No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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