Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
