i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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