It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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