I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize