PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
