do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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