I will die if light touches me.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
