Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
