She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
