there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
