i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
