He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think my mom watched the whole time
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
