you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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