she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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