I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
whose parrot is this?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
