the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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