Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
