Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
