No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
