he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
