I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
