Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
