There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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