anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
