he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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