He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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