how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
