my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize