i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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