i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
