doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
