good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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