I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize