Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
