I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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