If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
