he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
