Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize