i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
