is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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