My nipple is on Facebook.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
