Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
