In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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