ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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